Three Nights. All Expenses Paid. Where Would You Go?

For three days only, it might seem quite extreme to choose a small island that is quite literally the other side of the world. But assuming travel time doesn’t eat into those days, The Brando in French Polynesia is exactly where I would go. After all, this is an all-expenses-paid once in a lifetime trip, and if this imaginary scenario isn’t the time to pull out to the most faraway and expensive hotel on my bucket list, then I am not sure when is!

It’s indulgent without being outrageous. It’s luxury without being flashy. It oozes charm with its generous hospitality and staff that welcome you like family. Plus, if it’s fit for a recently retired president to write a book for a month, it’s, sure enough, fit for my family and friends.

After quarantine, I would go with my whole family to Hawaii, particularly Maui and Kauai. We’d drive the road to Hana on Maui to see waterfalls, lush swimming holes, black sand beaches and lava tunnels. Then head to Kauai to hike and take a boat ride along the Jurassic Coast. Coconuts, tropical flowers, hiking, sun, sand, and amazing Hawaiian food and legend – all that I can’t recreate in my London flat!

Having grown up in Zimbabwe, I was fortunate enough so spend most summer holidays in Mozambique. If I could go anywhere in the world right now with family in tow, I would undoubtedly choose to travel to Mozambique at the drop of a hat. This is a country that is filled with beautiful old Portuguese charm, incredibly warm and welcoming locals who have an excellent sense of humour. It is a place that still feels completely off the beaten track with long stretches of white sandy beaches, the most turquoise sea you could imagine and hardly anyone else around. I dream of waking up to the sound of the soft waves crashing on the beach, a gentle breeze floating by and a fresh pineapple picked that morning. In the afternoon, adventure out to a remote island for a bit of snorkelling and a private picnic atop a white dune surrounded by every shade of blue, finally heading home for a cold beer and some peri peri chicken whilst watching the sun set over the sea. This is a place that brings you back down to earth, slowing everything down with a wonderful sense of peace and serenity.

If I was going to pick anywhere in the world to celebrate with a group of family or friends, without a doubt I’d be in a sprawling Italian villa nestled in the olive groves. Nobody does a get-together quite as well as the Italians – and of course it would be orientated around food. I’ve yet to find a corner of the heeled boot that I haven’t fallen in love with, yet it’s the ‘wild’ south that feels like a second home and in my (biased) opinion offers the best hospitality – having lived there myself and been welcomed with open arms into every nonna’s home. Whether it’s the picture-postcard trulli of Puglia, Baroque marble cities of Sicily, untouched secret landscapes of Basilicata or rugged mountains of Calabria that cascade into the blue sea, there’s plenty to explore.

I’d spend my days swimming, winding through country roads and hiking the coastlines, then celebrate lazy summer evenings with the feeling of one of those warm tired glows that you only get after a day out in the sun and salty air. We’d gather around tables laden with dishes, taking our time to feast for hours on multiple courses (of course accompanied by wine), prepared straight from the vegetable gardens and celebrating local produce at its best. It may be cheesy to say – but that’s la dolce vita to me.

In a romantic sense I wonder would I like to be in a busy European city, immersed in another culture and language but under the same, albeit hotter, sun. Gritty city life, the very thing that corona has snatched from us; screaming over one another in a busy restaurant, sweating on a local bus and competitively queuing for the main attraction. Then I think, don’t be ridiculous, the cities can wait and you live in one for god’s sake. So, I want to be where I always want to be pre during and post corona – Donegal.

I want to be in a ramshackle cottage where the taps are temperamental, the heating is only produced from a roaring fire, an outdoor bath makes up for lack of a shower and the sheep gawp at you in a much kinder way than humans on a beach in the Med. I want to to be right on the sea where the local fisherman brings me fresh lobster for lunch, where the local pub serves only cider, whiskey or Guinness and where my friends and I dance into the wee hours to a fiddler named Patsy – the very same Patsy who served me at the bar and caught me my lobster. If this whole monstrous disease has taught me one thing, it is to be even more grateful for who and what is just next door.

If I were to go anywhere in the world with a group of family or friends for three nights, all expenses paid, I would have to choose the Matthews Range in Northern Kenya, an area of completely untouched and pristine wilderness. The landscapes here are mesmerising, characterised by lush mountains slopes and savannah plains home to elephant, leopard, reticulated giraffe, wild dog and kudu. For me, the beauty of this place is that there’s no need to get in a vehicle and charge around looking for game. This corner of the world is all about slowing down; a tranquil oasis where you can sit outside the front of your tent or take a dip in the pool, and simply let the wildlife come to you.

I can think of nothing better than spending three days feeling the total joy of freedom in nature’s playground – tracking elephant on foot, fly-camping on dried-up riverbeds, swimming in natural pools and quad biking in parts of the bush that few others have access to. This remote and dramatic landscape is also home to the local Samburu people whose age-old traditions, including the famous ‘singing wells’, are as much a part of the fabric of the land as the wildlife, and to be able to share it with my friends and family would be incredibly special.

If I could go anywhere for three nights with a group of friends I’d head straight to Val d’Orcia. Start the day with an espresso looking out towards Mount Amiata, take a meandering walk along gravel roads and through ancient oak woodlands to Podere il Casale for a long lunch. Head back to La Bandita Countryhouse for a siesta and an afternoon by the pool before heading into Pienza for cocktails at Idyllium – negroni’s are best enjoyed when perched on the Medieval town walls with this view…

This photo is one of my own, and it’s a moment that I’d love to go back to if I could choose to travel anywhere in the world right now. It was taken from the top of Mua Caves in Ninh Binh, Vietnam. Arguably a deceiving title as the caves themselves aren’t exceptional, but the panoramic view having climbed approximately 500 steps is spectacular. Ninh Binh is frequently described as ‘Inland Halong Bay’, with rivers winding between the huge limestone karsts that define the province. The region remains slightly off the beaten track when travelling the length of the country and offers a rustic, authentic experience at a slower pace to contrast the hustle and bustle of Vietnam’s cities. Here you spend your days cycling between rice paddies and rowing through caves to hidden temples – and exploring the great outdoors is exactly what I need right now.